How Much Wood Can A Woodchuck Chuck?

Sitting here bored and was wondering about Woodchucks. And their Wood.
Wasn't there an old Geiko commercial about that? "Stop Chuckin' My Wood!"
And so...

How much woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck can't chuck wood?
If he can't chuck wood, then why is he still called a Woodchuck?

Maybe most woodchucks can chuck wood, but this one has dental problems.
Or maybe another woodchuck punched him right in the kisser (Pow!) and
knocked his chucking choppers out!

Or maybe he's able to chuck wood but he's someplace where there's no
wood to chuck like out in the desert.
Or maybe he's sailing on a Pirate's ship and the only chuckable wood is the
Captain's Pegleg! "Argh ya fithy bilge rat, How dare ya chuck me wooden leg.
It's off to the plank with ya" (I always try to get a little pirate talk in when I can)

Maybe the woodchuck is down on his luck and is a luckless chuck.
Maybe he's depressed and lost his will to chuck.

Maybe he lives in a No Chucking Zone.
Maybe he's a Chuck-A-Haulic and joined Woodchucker's Anonymous.
("Lord grant me the strength not to chuck wood anymore...)

Maybe he's an unemployed chuck and can't afford the wood to chuck
so he has to stand in line with all of the other woodless chucks till somebody
throws him a chunk to chuck.

Who knows, it's one of those Eternal Mysteries. I think I'll just call him a Ground Hog.
Woodchuck sounds too much like a Porn Star name anyway!