I Would Rather Be Lonely And Alone, Than With Someone Wrong And Be Miserable

That pretty much sums it up. My last serious relationship was about a decade ago and it looks like it will be my last. I'll be the 1st to say I've got piss-poor taste in women. In my younger days I was a typical male, if the sex worked then dive head-first in a relationship. Also I was a poet, writer, and a dreamer. (not typical male) I grew up believing "Love Conquers All" Well, it doesn't. Not in the least.

These days I'm more cautious and a realist. Poetry has given way to blogging. The last poem I wrote was on 9/11. I used to write some amazing short-stories (if I do say so myself) Again, that's given way to blogging and I even got away from that for a few years. Instead of a dreamer, I'm quite the realist. The glass is neither half empty or full, it's the content that counts and it's usually got piss in it.

My one goal in life was to find a good woman who loves me for who I am, and in turn I would do the same. Get a good job, have some kids and live a normal life. Not too difficult right? People do it all the time. Well not for me.
My one marriage was to someone who waited till we were married and revealed that she couldn't have kids. Ouch. But not a deal breaker. There was always adoption and a 1 in 100 chance that she could get pregnant. And it was fun to try.

To make a long story short, it (not being able to have kids) finally turned her into a hateful bitter woman and she filed for divorce so she could be hateful and bitter on her own which is how she died. Alone in her apartment of cancer, chased everyone away and died alone. End of a sad story.

I could care less about looks. I've had relationships with older, younger, big boobed hotties, skinny flat chested, flat bottomed girls, and chunky women. Looks is not as important as character. Should have got me somewhere, right? Nope. It just made me a target for every cheater, user, and manipulator out there. These days I'm not so trusting and more prone to background checking as everyone should be these days. Ahh...we gotta love the Internet!

My last relationship was spawned on the Internet. On a message board. We both were cautious, been burned and didn't want to be again. e-mailed and chatted for almost a year before I took some vacation days and drove out to her. In another state 1,000 miles away, through a fierce thunderstorm and a tornado on the way. 
Sounds like the beginning of a beautiful relationship?

It was. Spent several days getting to know each other, movies, dinner, mind-blowing sex. And I finally went home and after talking and chatting a few more months, she made a trip here in order to bring here 12 year old daughter and see how we all got along together. Sounds reasonable, something I would do.

She was supposed to stay 3-5 days, but came 2 days early, dropped her daughter off at relatives and arriving like a tornado herself, stayed 10 days!!! A little overboard but I tried to work with it. I worked 10-12 hours a day as a diesel mechanic and I'd come home beat, grease covered, and wiped out. I'd find out that she made dinner reservations, movies and sex that would last till 11 or 12 and I had to be up at 5am. Ok, she's a little over-excited. I can drink more coffee and keep going somehow. And the unexpected blow-jobs kept me in line!

Then she started going through my house and changing curtains, replacing my towels and wash rags, rearranging everything and I never once saw her daughter. Tried talking and it got nowhere.

In the end, I was so run down, I caught a bad flu so she finally headed out back home after finding out that me with 104 degree temperature, wasn't much fun. 

So I recovered in a few days to find out that she was making plans to pull her daughter out of school and move to my town. 
Even got ahold of a niece of mine and made secret plans with her to pull it all off. By this time I was thinking of breaking it 
off and so she did a secret move one weekend and in the end turned into a stalker. Hence I learned to do background checks 

I eventually had to close my house down, get a different car and go live in my cabin for months. Good thing I never had time to show her where it was or my workplace. She may still be here, I don't know.

At this point many would turn gay but I just figured I'd come home to find my boyfriend giving head to the guy next door so that's not an option!

Now in middle age, I'm becoming a "set in my ways old fart" so having a family of my own is pretty much over. I am open to finding a mate someday. But it's not necessary to be content. And I do like freedom to go where I want, when I want but the nights do get long and lonely sometimes. Then again,  a comet could hit the Earth tomorrow and make all future plans irrelevant anyway so to quote Winston Churchhill, "We'll have to just keep Buggering On!"